Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I'd love to post a picture of piles of food being shoveled into my fat, happy cheeks but there isn't one to be had. This household is saving the food binge for a party on saturday. I rustled up a pot roast with mash, green beans, bacon, and gravy. I was fashioning a turkey tail for the roast with the bacon and decided it wasn't worth the effort as the mash cooled. It was a delicious piece of cow.

In the spirit of the holiday, I'm going to be thankful. I'm thankful for all my family, all my friends, and all the people I have shared good times with. I'm thankful for the food I eat, the strength in my limbs, and the ease of life I have enjoyed.

I could carry on, I'm a thankful guy, but I can't share all my thanks via such an impersonal medium, can I?

I hope you've all had a great day that remind you of all there is to be thankful for.

And the Heavens Wept

Yeah, so I haven't posted in a while. I've been sick. Busy.

You know what? I don't have to justify myself. This is my blog. Yeah.

Anyway...

So, the cold. Al's clearly wimpy immune system got taken down by a crappy cold that sapped his strength, gave him a runny nose, a sore throat, a cough, and a sad tendency to talk in the third person. Actually the last one might be a sign of madness. Who knows. It was rubbish having the cold, especially in the sunshine, and even more so at work, but it's never a walk in the park, is it? It's my cold season anyway. Every year I get at least one, normally around thing time. Given to me by one of the zillions of people I come into contact every day (okay, an exaggeration, but you know what I mean). Enough about that.

Work wanted to squeeze every last drop out of a swell guy like me during the last days of employment, especially with the upcoming food holiday. I worked hard and I worked long. There were drama-queen customers, mysterious oil-spills, and other crazy goings-on that just aren't interesting enough to get blog-space. I guess it was a good experience to work in a food store in the land of food before the festival of food that is Thanksgiving. So many turkeys died and were frozen and wrapped in plastic for this day of feasts. Pies, cranberries, sweet potatoes, marshmallows, whipping cream, ice cream, green beans, potatoes, squash, and corn all piled through the tills day in, day out. Recipes, family stories, and plans were shared between all and sundry.

My last day of work was today (the 26th November), the day before turkey day. It was crazy. Start to finish nearly all tills were going, and even then the lines were backing up. Two members of our dedicated team were no-shows. I hope they had good reason. Another didn't come in due to being drunk. This meant that I was the sole bagger for multiple tills (starting at 6 and ending at 3) for two hours. I did my best (and was on form), but I can't be everywhere.

It was raining. For my first of 3 hours collecting carts it rained the whole time. A medium drizzle is what I'd rate it, but the Southern Californians seemed to think that it was a torrential downpour. I bet El Nino would only be considered a wet weekend in Scotland (I'm sorry, I shouldn't joke about events that can have such devastating consequences).

The rain, the birthday of a fellow bagger (including a humorous cake that turned had her blushing furiously [tasty looking it was, too]), and the general madness of the day meant that my leaving was very low key to my relief. Most people didn't know - I kept it close to my chest - and so I explained myself a lot when there were opportunities for them to enquire. Some of the managers took a minute to thank me for my work and say how they'd miss me and my hard-working nature. I blushed. I'm never good at receiving such flattering comments. Might just be a new experience (kidding people - I do get compliments from time to time, believe it or not. Never for my writing though, but you knew that). My final act as a Ralphs courtesy clerk was to strike the American flag and take in to the manager. For real.

It had been out in the rain (bad) and the dark without proper lighting (very bad). I probably shouldn't bring attention to that. Pretty much the only way to make it worse would be to rub it on the ground, run it up upside-down, and burn it whilst singing anti-America, anti-Christian, Communist songs. I'm sure there are some. I enjoy the respect Americans have for their flag and their country. But they haven't been fighting each other since the dawn of time like the countries in the United Kingdom. And the Union Jack isn't as nice as the Stars and the Stripes. The Saltire is good though. Anyone seen the ideas for the new, more inclusive Union Jack? They will haunt my dreams for years to come.

I apologise for my wandering, mostly incoherent rambling in this post. I'm weary and have the attention span of a peanut. I know that the previous statement is a senseless mish-mash of  the cliches 'the attention span of a goldfish' and 'a brain the size of a peanut', but it's what I like to say, so let me be. It's harmless.

That little tangent just proved that I should probably just abandon attempts at a post that anyone can follow. It doesn't even have pictures for those 'put off reading by reading for their degree'. You know who you are. Go and feel shame. Then be free!

To sum all this up: I had a cold, I worked, I finished work, it rained. Happy? I am.

Finally, happy Thanksgiving to everyone who is reading this on the day (which is pretty much everybody - there's only an hour left to the date as I write this). I hope you fill your bellies and are thankful for all that is true and good in this world. I've stuck a wee picture of the last Thanksgiving I have any photos from for a bit of pictorial relief. Have a good one!

C.S.Al Los Angeles

Events and photos together at last!

Chris and Sienna were kind enough to pay lonely me a visit en route to the frozen wilds of Canada. The weather was hot and dry (quelle suprise) and marred only slightly by the smoke lying over the city from the unstoppable fire that was mentioned earlier in the blog. So cruel to warm the travelling (two ls you damn American spell-check!) couple before plunging them in the deep freeze.

Sunday was spent at the Universal Studios theme park. Not much of a roller-coaster fest, more an experience thing. We managed to get around all the rides (thank goodness it was a quiet time of year) we wanted to see, and had an all-you can eat pass for food (all overpriced and not so good, thank goodness the pass was relatively cheap).

The studio tour was the usual cheesy experience. Saw the outside of the sound stages where some CSI filming was going on, some of the built sets (with clips of films they'd been in), some tour-gone-wrong set pieces (so cheesy), and passed by the set where Desperate Housewives was being filmed (apparently the tour usually goes down Wisteria Lane when filming isn't underway). Was fun, but I'm sure the VIP pass (which gets visits into filming sets and other backstage stuff) would've made it an excellent tour but I don't have an extra $100 or so to burn.

The Simpsons ride was a fun simulator ride, but not great enough to tempt us back.

The Jurassic Park ride was Universal's answer to Splash Mountain. A bunch of fairly pointless floating about, enjoying the scenery, followed by the usual 'boat took the wrong turn and everyone is now in danger' scenario ending in a steep drop to end the ride.

The Mummy ride was the only rollercoaster in the park. It was very much like Space Mountain, with a short whizz around in the dark. No upside-down sections on the ride, but a fairly pointless backwards travelling section. I believe that the backward travelling rollercoaster sensation only comes into its own when there's a stomach-lightening loop or corkscrew. This was the most exciting ride in the park and warranted a few return visits.

Backdraft was a look into the pyro-effects that can be used in films. It was impressive, to be sure, and hot too. I hate to think how much fuel is burnt by this show on a day to day basis.

Waterworld was a live action recreation of the film of the same name. We decided to sit right at the front. In the 'Soak Zone'. I figured that we might as well go the whole hog instead of being timid and sitting in the 'Dry Zone' or 'Splash Zone'. They certainly didn't lie. The warm-up to the show had a few of the team working the crowd, getting them to cheer, conducting them. If the crowd were half-hearted (which it always is to begin with), those in the 'Soak Zone' got buckets of water thrown on them. Repeatedly. Then big ol' water pump things squirted at them. I was lucky enough to get singled out when the pump came out. I seem to be a target at these audience-interaction shows. So honoured. Thoroughly soaked before the show even started. It was a fun little show with jetski jumps, fire effects, pantomime acting, fights, jumps, and a highly impressive plane crash at the end (cue large wave for us lucky folks). The jetski riders pulled tight turns to send huge waves of water over us. Late afternoon was not the best time for it, when it was getting cooler rather than warming. You live and you learn.

Soaking, we made our way over to Terminator 2: 3D. A mix of live action and 3D film effects, it was passable entertainment. Some of the 3D effects worked better than others. It was just a bit too air-conditioned poor, wet us though.

The House of Horrors was better than most as the things jumping out at us were humans rather than machines so had a more menacing feel. A bit too menacing at times - one rushed at me and I almost had to brace for impact, another tried to get Chris' food - but rarely surprising for a jaded rider (walker in this case) like me. Got some of the folks ahead and behind pretty well though. And me when there were two in the room. Wasn't expecting that.

The tail end of the Blues Brothers show we saw was fun enough, just a stage working of the film songs, really.

As a whole, the park was a good size. We managed to cover everything before the close as 6pm, and went to some things repeated times. Small queues helped this, of course. It was annoying being herded past the photo stands (some of our pictures were hilarious - Si pulled some good terror faces - but not worth $25 for a minimum of 3, especially when we weren't in front) and the gift shops coming out of each ride, but that's how these things work. I was suprised at the amount of booze available in the park. I guess I'm too used to Disneyland. Plus this park didn't really have anything to empty a tipsy stomach. A good way to spend a day in LA. For $67 + $20 food.

Swam in the hotel pool in the evening, had a margarita at the hotel bar. Chris and Si had a swish hotel and, as such, any purchases were pretty steep.

Monday had no plan. After some calls back home from the couple, and an email from me, we headed out to Hollywood. We ate a brunch at the International House of Pancakes on Sunset. Gotta love American breakfasts. Fatty, sugary, zillions of variations, and unlimited coffee. We left fat and happy to hit the sites. Hollywood isn't a very nice area. Let's be honest. The touristy open-fronted shops and cracked roads put me in mind of Tijuana. We wandered along the stars, loitered by the hand and foot prints outside the chinese theatre, took pictures of the Hollywood sign, and slowly wilted in the heat.

Then off to the nearest Costco (thank you, helpful tourist information person). There we also went into Toys'r'us and Best Buy (of TV show 'Chuck' fame) looking for a digital camera. One was procured and he headed for the hills. Literally. We headed up to Griffith Observatory to watch the sunset (thank you for the suggestion, Mr. Hollywood-local-who-was-listening-in-on-our-musings-on-what-to-see-in-a-big-city-like-LA-which-we-didn't-know-enough-about). It involved waiting for an hour and a half or so, then occurred in about 2 minutes. Banter was good, but view of city was lacking due to smoke/general smog over LA.

We then grabbed some expensive, over-sized, fairly tasty mexican food and headed back to the hotel. There Chris and Si sorted themselves out and we went for another wee swim. There was a roaming plaster in the pool. Gross. A quick aside - I reaffirmed my guess about why skin wrinkles in the pool. The upper layer of skin is absorbing water whilst the lower is remaining taut, causing wrinkles. The reason that only hands and feet wrinkle is that the absorbent layer of skin is thicker on the feet and hands. Just makes sense, doesn't it?

Then I cruised back home along the 101 and the 5, which were pretty busy for 10-11pm on monday. It is LA.

Fire in the Disco, Fire in the Anaheim Hills

Nothing to blog about (swimming, studying, reading, watching TV) for a few days, then today. Plenty to talk about today. I thought I might take my camera but decided against it. Silly boy.

I set out to Chino Airfield early(ish), driving the Mazda 6 along the freeways with the Godfather directing me. On our way we saw a fire that had just started off the side of the freeway. This grew and grew throughout the day to become a massive fire, smoke visible for miles. Homes destroyed, people abandoning cars on the highway because of smoke inhalation. It was crazy seeing it grow after what I passed in the morning. The wind is so dangerous here.

Wandered about the airport museum lot (not the museum itself, just the field where they were fixing up the planes or storing them with a running commentary from the Godfather. Much better than the museum, no doubt. It was lovely, sunny, interesting. I just wish I had brought my camera to take some photos), had breakfast at Flo's (the previously mentioned traditional diner on the airfield grounds) with the flyboys (as I believe they should be called - an amusing bunch), then drove to John Wayne Airport to drop a few things off at the Godfather's hangar.

Here my troubles started.

When we pulled away I checked the fuel gauge. Empty. I had missed the fuel light. I said "We're low on fuel". Damn British understatement. We were not low, we were on fumes. The Godfather took this statement at face value and suggested Costco for a refill. I swear that Costco was closer last time. Cruising along, just transferred freeways, and the Godfather mentions that I can now speed up again.

No can do, sir.

I pulled over to the side, tank empty. So empty that it won't even start again. Not even dregs. Those who have felt the car die beneath them know the sadness, the dispiriting feeling as it dies in your hands. Try it on a freeway. You get fined for that. Luckily our exit wasn't too far away - recounted as half a mile, but I'm sure the truth is less - and I'm a hefty lad.

So hefty lad pushed the hefty car.

The Godfather (amazingly upbeat) helped when not steering. It was hot. 33C hot. And dry. So dry. Not being in the best shape, it was hard going. I didn't feel like I was using my muscles much, but it felt more tiring than jogging in a cardiovascular sense (I know they are muscles too, please don't be pedantic. I'm just saying it had me out of breath fast, despite only progressing at a stiff walking pace). Luck had it that there was mostly gentle downhill from where I coasted to a stop to the closest parking lot (via the exit and a set of lights). The hills that I did traverse were hard work, especially that last slope up into the lot, when my tank was running on empty (I'm a drama queen [male equivalent of] when it comes to exercise, so what, wanna fight about it?). After a phone call, a pick-up, a filling of a lidless petrol container, and a drive back (with a few wrong turns), the Mazda 6 was revived. I felt - still feel - stupid/silly/sheepish and now the Protege reeks of gas (petrol) just to remind me.

The rest of the afternoon was frittered away tinkering with the electronics around the cigarette lighter in the Protege which was stopped working after a car maintenance mishap (reconnecting the newly cleaned battery terminal with a tyre pump trying to suck electricity through the socket). It was quickly shown to not be the fault of the fuse box by the steering column, and (after some fidgeting by the Godfather) not the fault of the wiring behind the lighter. So it was the unit. Problem solved, right?

Those things are hard to get out. Seriously.

We even tried to remove the panel to get better access. Don't bother, kids. It was eventually coaxed out by the ever patient Godfather. Brilliant. Just grab a replacement and all will be well. I wish.

The closest model at the auto store was slightly different in plug configuration. So the Godfather (eventually) split the plastic unit joining the wires to allow the new model to fit. But it didn't quite fit the hole. So the Godfather widened the hole with a power drill. Then altered the plug ends to fit. One snapped off. Back to the shop. Alter new unit. Install. Test. Terminals connected the wrong way, so the current wouldn't power the electronic devices (would've lit cigarettes fine and made the aforementioned pump suck instead of blow). Cue more socket alterations. Fidgety installation. Luckily yours truly was only the light man (it was dark by now). I would've thrown a hissy fit by now and called a mechanic. The Godfather finally sorted it only to find a previous test had blown his in-car GPS system charger. His patience and upbeat nature is truly awe-inspiring. Sorted. For now.

A quick shower and change saw me off again to a dinner party. The food was amazing. Having been in America for a while, I realise how bad I am at cooking (and blogging and swimming, but I'm not talking about those).

Pre-dinner nibbles: Crackers and cheese. A firm favourite. One cheese was like a mild leicester with nuts and dates in it. Strange but tasty and crumbly to the point of impossible.

Starter: Pea and pesto salad. Al loves peas. Al loves pesto. Al loves spinach and pine nuts. Al love having hot ciabatta on the side. 'Nuff said.

Main: Steak with potatoes and asparagus. Beautiful steak. A masterpiece. Marinated and cooked in such a way that yielded seared outside and beautifully pink inside (no red bloodiness, Brits, so you should still be salivating!). Apparently ceramic burners are the key. And good meat, naturally. Salty skinned baby potatoes with oninon strips baked crisp on top. Soft (not stringy or soggy) asparagus with some sort of Balsamic (I guess) dressing and caramelized (forgive the z) baby onions. Mmm... Baby vegetables. Just can't wait to get the full bang-for-the-buck from the crops. Delicious. Seconds worthy. Thirds worthy if I weren't saving room for another round of delights. And if I were shameless enough to do it after my seconds had already had the table waiting on my finish. It was all the talking I was doing. Really.

Dessert: Ginger and macadamia tart with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce. Damn. This desert made me feel like a terrible baker. Mild, fruity ginger. Light, crumbly, sweet pastry. Crunchy macadamia goodness. Vanilla ice cream (needs nothing more said about it, since it was good stuff and not the awful chemical own-brand guff that has sometimes passed my poor lips and lower intestine. [Couldn't resist]). Chocolate sauce, home made from good chocolate. The type that is so rich and goopy and delicious that it shuts you up and stops your from having too much of its calorific goodness. Brought a tear to the eye.

Drinks: Ice water, Perrier (sparkling water, for those in the dark), wine (white and red), and tea (milk, no sugar). Perfect to wash down the treats listed above. Sparkling water for a touch of class. Wines light and refreshing. Tea - not quite what I'm used to (damn you Les and Mike for upping my tea standards!) - but a welcome hot beverage to was down the dinner and sugar cookie. Also I don't think a 5th cup of coffee would've been good for me (these free refills in diners are deceptive, thank you Flo's!).

Company: Good banter.

You can just tell that the food was the high point of my day, can't you?

My final thoughts concern my lunch. A lasagne (as the dish is called in Italy and anywhere that respects the mighty dish, rather than lasagna which my American friend, Spell-Checker, prefers) wrap. Or a lasagnwrap if you will. It, unlike its cousin, the lasagnwich, is better eaten hot. This poses a problem as the filling will undoubtably burn your impatient mouth. The clever man plans ahead and allows said filling to cool unwrapped to an edible temperature, then wraps and consumes. Nice, but clearly inferior to the lasagnwich with or without bread. Indeed, the lasagnwich sets a high standard to which all other pasta based left-over dishes must aspire.

I urge you all to go a rediscover the lasagnwich lover within yourselves.

Courtesy Clerk to Aisle 15 Please...

Last few days have been the usual (except swimming 'cause it's cooler and the one day I went to soak in the hot tub it was closed and it was too cold to go for a swim in the cold pools) so I haven't been posting. Perhaps things will become interesting soon.

Today work was okay for the most part. What made it special was getting called (as the title suggests) to clean up an impressive technicolour belch. I use that disgusting terminology because of its aptness here. It looked something like a dart board, liquid, with lumps. What am I supposed to do about that?

Out come the 'Caution Wet Floor' signs to surround the obvious mess in front of the milk section. Cover the legal aspect first, eh? Then I glove up and collect my tools.

Mop + Bucket. Check.

Broom + Dustpan. Check.

Plastic and Paper Bags. Check.

SpillMagic. Check.

I'd never had to use the super-absorbent powder that is SpillMagic until today. The idea is that you sprinkle it on, watch it suck up all the moisture, then just sweep it away. The reality it that it makes a sludge that smears along the floor and sticks to the broom. Great.

After thoroughly sterilizing the floor I returned to bagging. Here the till person at my till was called by the manager (managing another till) and instructed to tell me to bag faster. I bag as fast as the groceries and bags allow me. It's not exactly my fault that not enough baggers are on to cover the monday evening rush (people don't like shopping on the weekends so they shop after work on monday, making it one of the most busy times in the week) and some are on break. I can't be in more than one place. I don't like to mistreat the food people have just selected and are about to pay for. Granted, I'm not a light speed packer, but big animals are usually slower, right?

Shortly after I got chucked out to collect carts. Fresh air and exercise. Making bucks. F***ing A (See Office Space).

Then Mexican for dinner. Gotta love it. I decided to try fish tacos, which seem to be a big thing. It's what it says on the box, folks. It's a taco. With fish. Was pretty damn tasty though...

Factotum

Went to a Japanese mall for dinner yesterday, had pork-egg and soba noodles. It was very, very Japanese. It's always nice to see these pure pockets of foreign culture in cities. Otherwise it's been work and rest. So let's talk about today's shift. I'm sure that'll enthrall y'all.

It was a 4.15-10pm shift - just short enough to deny me a lunch break (but they don't pay lunches, so it doesn't really matter). This was changed to a 4.15pm-12am shift. Then back to the original 10pm finish. Then back to the midnight finish where it settled. I was then coerced into helping the (service) deli clear out their display 'cause it was faulty and the meats and cheeses and salads had to spend the evening (and night) in the walk-in fridge. I have never handled so much meat in my life. Beef, porks, everything, you name it. They went on the bottom 'cause they were liable to get their juices all over the cheese if they went on top. Then all the salads on their stands. Except the olives. The poor olives were left behind. They're a hardier fruit I suppose.

Back to bagging until dinner break (BBQ chicken salad wrap in tomato wrap - yummy!) then got sent to the bakery section where I helped the bubbly young baker to ice her cakes, frost her cupcakes (and decorate them with stupid plastic things that totally cheapened the whole effect in my humble opinion), get cookies in and out of the oven, label, and set out the display. Just as we were finishing (talking about our nationality - more british [Irish, Scottish, English all mixed. Nobody seems to remember Wales here. But then nobody comes from Wales. Except Rhys Jones. And Tom Jones. And Catherine-married-that-old-guy-who-was-fun-in-those-films-that-totally-tried-to-be-Indiana-Jones-Zeta Jones] and german and native american. That's one person, not going to mention the Deli guy. Can't be bothered typing it all. You have two parents, figure it out. Anything less than a quarter and it stops counting.) a really confused (trying to be nice) woman comes and demands to have one of the display cakes. The ones for tomorrow. And refuses all the zillions of cakes on the racks. And takes ages with the bakery girl, sending her 'round the bend. Bakery girl relents, gives her the type she asks for. Then she asks me about it - she didn't get the one she pointed at, maybe this one is not chocolaty enough. I assure her that all the cakes are the same and even take the time to point out the chocolate layers in her cake. She asks if it is delicious. I tell her that, although I have not tried it personally, I hear it is top-notch stuff then head out to collect trolleys from all over the car park where the ever lazy Californians dump 'em. When I come back in, said cake is sitting at a till to go into the not-for-resale box. With a hand scape out of the side and a finger swipe in the icing. I will not describe the bad feelings I then experienced. Wasteful people annoy me. I know that I'm not perfect, but I try. I try not to do really stupid things that cost other people money too. She didn't pay for that. And wasted a whole cake that she forced the poor bakery person (who just wanted to get off her shift and get to a party, she was already well into overtime) to get. In fact, this reminds me of something...

A disease ravaging America. A horrendous crime spree. A depressing social comment.

The eating of food in the supermarket before paying.

Can you people not wait until that food is legally yours? What are you teaching your kids? Who the hell taught you that it was okay? Why do you do it? I know you pay for it eventually (not always though, see above) but until then IT IS NOT YOURS! Argh. This is making me angry. Enough.

The shift then finished out in usual style for a late one - good banter with the work mates and customers (including one that I recognise as a regular now 'cause he's funny and always good banter) and the odd jobs that get done at the end of the night. Interesting shift for me, probably not for all of you who have better things to do than read my blog. Yeah, you. You know I'm right. This reading has no literary merit. Go read a book.

In other news, my driver's license finally came in the post, in all its yellow glory. The picture is pretty bad though. Not as bad as my Costco, but worse than my recent passport photos. I look like a bum. Not that I don't usually look like a bum. You know what i mean.

Another Day, Another Dollar

Obama won. Oh, you heard, did you? Silly me.

California voted yes on proposition 8 - no more gay marriages in the great state of California. They are now recognised as 'civil unions'. So pedantic.

Southern Californians complaining of the cold at 14C.

I hobbled my way round an understaffed 5 hour shift. I ate coffee frozen yoghurt and blueberry frozen yoghurt. Blueberry wins. Blueberry always wins. I had a fast food burrito. A depressing experience. What did I expect? Is the Big Mac as good as the Big Al Burger? Of course not. Not much else to say for my day except I spent it with 'A Man's Gotta Do' stuck on repeat in my head. At least it kept a smile on my face in the store.

Dance Me Round And Round The Kitchen By The Light Of My TV

I think Kim might get today's title reference.

Election today.

Since I didn't register myself in time, I can't talk about voting, but I can talk about what politics is like here.

Firstly, people are more open about it. In Britain most people seem to keep their votes close to their chest, like a dirty secret, and not talk about it. Here it's very clear which side of the line people stand on. And there's no Liberal Democrats for a 3rd option. You're either Pepsi or Coke. The party colours are even the same as Pepsi and Coke. People were debating the election in the supermarket with total strangers. Such a different atmosphere.

Secondly, it's all that's on TV. Yesterday's ads were 99% vote related - party ads and proposition ads (in california propositions are voted on. This year proposition 8 is about having gay couples in 'civil union' rather than marriage because marriage is heterosexual. Proposition 7 [I think] is on renewable energy. Proposition 5 is on providing healthcare to the underprivileged.). Debates, news, papers - you can't avoid it. There's not nearly as much money or coverage in Britain, a good thing I think.

Finally, I believe there is more passion in it. People demonstrate on the roadsides (mostly on prop. 8 - lots of people want yes. I find that very saddening), attend huge rallies, wear tee shirts, have bumper stickers on the car and signs on the lawn. You feel enthused. In Britain it all seems so drab. Life like the weather, eh? I just wish that more people in America voted with an open mind. Texans being born republican, people voting the same party regardless. Only two parties. I admire the passion, but wish it were tempered by a bit of thought and consideration.

As for my election day, it's not a happy one. I'm happy but today has been wearing. A huge-ass truck with a huge-ass trailer nearly crushed my poor car through no fault to me. I was just driving along, as I always do on my way to work. At Trabuco the truck does a right-on-red to join me. Just us on a three lane road, me in the left lane, him in the right. Empty middle. We're going the same speed - slightly under the limit on the road (50mph). He moves over a lane. Fine. As I'm observing this (and thinking about what a monstrous vehicle it is right next to me) I notice that he hasn't stopped in the middle lane. He has continued to drift. Now, it is possible that he didn't see me when he was in the middle lane (might've been in the blind spot - something like must have a mighty blind spot), but he should've taken note of me before he decided to drift lazily across the lanes and expecting for everyone else to shift. Well. I quickly noticed that I was soon to be crushed into the middlebit (that's right folks, I've squeezed a Mikism into the blog). Think Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade boat scene. Very scary. I did what I had to, slammed on the anchors (thankfully the lane was clear behind me, as was the rest of the road actually), and swore at the driver of the truck/trailer combo. He was turning left at the junction before mine. Thankfully I noticed his drifting before it was too late, that's all I'll say.

 I then got a rude call (I hate answering the phone. Most of the time it's nothing hard, but sometimes people have odd requests) and had my little toe crushed by a display cabinet stacked high with bottled water. It's either bruised or broken, doesn't make a huge difference. It's swollen and hurts. And had me limping for the last hour and a half of my shift. During which I had to clean the men's toilets 'cause some complete so-and-sos had laid waste to it. Seriously, why bother? It's a supermarket toilet! Anyway...

The rest of my day has been R & R, keeping off my feet. Bloggin' for y'all, planning the rest of my time here, and enjoying the wondrously entertaining Mr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog which I purchased on iTunes yesterday, along with it's soundtrack. I encourage you all to check it out. A supervillain musical by Joss Whedon and co.? Magic.

Fingers crossed for the result of today...

Super-calorific-sates-Al's-edacity

I was looking for a decent play on Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, and this fits well enough. I can’t wait for this this serious (perhaps dangerous) blood sugar spike ends. As for now, I feel almost drunk.

Why, you ask?

I went all out on my 10 worst drinks investigation. What a great way to write off my day off. I have tried 9/10 and will put the Men's Health comments with mine. And will probably go sugar-free for a little while. Here goes...

Number 10: Worst Milk Beverage - Hershey's Chocolate Drink

Men's Health says: Besides being loaded with sugar, it contains more water than actual milk.

Al says: So true, but what can you expect at $0.64 per carton. Very watery - tastes like those rubbish camping (just add water!) hot chocolates. I can see why they don't call it chocolate milk.

Number 9: Worst Soda - Sunkist Orange

Men's Health says: More sugar per ounce than any other soda we found.

Al says: Very like Fanta. Fizzy, syrupy, leaves a weird bitter aftertaste and has a colour reminiscent of Irn-Bru. And not exactly cheap - this bottle was $2.64.

Number 8: Worst Spritzer - R. W. Knudsen Family Tangerine

Men's Health says: The label says, "No sugar added." Good thing.

Al says: I couldn't find this one for love nor money. I'll keep my eyes peeled.

Number 7: Worst Bottled Green Tea - SoBe Green Tea

Men's Health says: To make regular tea this sweet you'd have to add 16 packets of sugar.

Al says: And here I was thinking that Mike used to like his tea sweet. This was unbelievable. This was on a par with that horrendous green tea latte I had - where's the tea flavour? This is sugar-water, like those bugs from MIB liked. In a big bottle.

Number 6: Worst Juice Drink - Arizona Kiwi Strawberry

Men's Health says: You'd have to eat 11 cups of strawberries to consume this much sugar from whole fruit.

Al says: I kinda cheated here. Couldn't find the named one, so tried another in the range. Will look out for the correct one, but this was definitely on the same lines. This was sugar and tang in a huge can. Seriously, Americans need to cut their serving sizes.

Number 5: Worst Fountain Drink - 7-Eleven Double Gulp (filled with cola)

Men's Health says: This is 2 litres of soda.

Al says: Liars. It's 1.9 litres, less with ice. But either way it's massive. You know the taste of coke, kids, so I won't go into that. What I will say is that this monstrosity must cause a lot of car accidents. Far too big for conventional cup holders, I was forced to hold this drink between my thighs. This resulted in my thighs being steadily frozen throughout my short trip home, and in the embarrassment of drinking it at lights with an action which must have seemed like an attempt at auto-fellatio.

Number 4: Worst Hot Coffee Drink - Starbucks Venti 2% Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha

Men's Health says: More added sugar than the average person consumes in a day.

Al says: I cheated again here. Peppermint syrup doesn't seem to be in the stores just now, so I had it with raspberry syrup. It goes with white chocolate, right? Forgot about the coffee part. Ach well, wasn't so bad. The coffee takes the edge off the sweetness until the bottom quarter of the cup, which isn't really worth drinking. Y'all know what I'm talking about here.

Number 3: Worst Frozen Coffee Drink - Dairy Queen Caramel MooLatte

Men's Health says: Having a large DQ chocolate sundae instead would save you 300 calories.

Al says: Like drinking caramel syrup. This was by far the sweetest drink in the list. Yuk.

Number 2: Worst Smoothie - Jamba Juice Peanut Butter Moo'd Power Smoothie

Men's Health says: As much sugar as 13 bowls of Froot Loops.

Al says: Really? This one didn't seem as sweet as the others. Maybe my sugar taste buds have burnt out. Decent flavour, but too rich to drink the whole cup. Like the narrowing base to allow it to go in cup holders. How thoughtful.

Number 1: Worst Drink in America - Cold Stone Creamery OhFudge! Shake

Men's Health says: Has almost 3/4 cup of sugar and more calories than six McDonald's hamburgers.

Al says: I'll take the hamburgers. Starts chocolaty, then gets sweet, then the cream hits. And hits. And hits. I liken this to the point where pleasure becomes pain. Very intense, doesn't leave the mouth for ages.

There you have it, folks. My sacrifice for you. Had I consumed all of the drinks above (instead of asking for smalls in the larger cups and ditching a lot of the drinks) I would've taken in 6,026 calories, 938g of sugar. I'm not blowing 3 days of calories on sugar loaded drinks! Just to give you an idea of the real size of the Double Gulp, here's a pic of me holding it. Remember how large I am.

In other news, Orange County got another hour of rain today, I drove some more (in the Protoge and in the brand-spanking-new Mazda 6), and I ate at an all-America diner type place. I tried the chili dog. My verdict? Toss out the dog. The cheap meat ruins a good steak chili. In fact, lose the bun too. Have one or the other. Having both is just greedy.

Gotta get my kip for a 13 hour shift tomorrow, hope you enjoyed this sweet little treat!

Happy Alloween!

Americans take halloween seriously. And it's getting bigger. This year is said to be the most celebrated halloween ever, and it shows. Decorations everywhere, most employees dressing up, oodles of stores dedicated to halloween (and desperate things they are too, my short visit yesterday just made me sad. Where's the pride? Where's the craftsmanship?), and folks wishing each other happy halloween left, right, and centre.

My costume (mentioned in the post yesterday), as seen above, actually looks a lot better in the pictures despite the face contortions required to keep the least adhesive mustache in the history of costume clinging to my upper lip. My day has been low key, continuing my quest to try the 10 worst drinks in America as selected by Men's Health, going to Borders (my heaven might well be an unlimited borders gift card - does that make me sad? Don't answer that.), reading, and swimming. Got a dinner party tonight. Look at me, so festive!

Actually my festivity took place in DC - Becka kindly sent me photos of my jack-o-lantern (something that Americans still take pride in making, thank goodness, though ceramic monstrosities are creeping in.). Not up to the others carved that night, and far off the hardcore jack-o-lantern fanatics (see http://yeswecarve.com/ for Barack-o-lanterns, a fine example of which was made in my presence, or http://www.extremepumpkins.com/ for general pumpkin carving hilarity.), but a step in the right direction for me. Try to ignore the mistake that makes the happy side of the drama mask look like a devilish smiley face. I was drinking beer. 

Now kids, I encourage you to enjoy festive seasons responsibly and not go see Quantum of Solace without Al just 'cause he's in American and has to wait for two weeks and he deserves to have something rubbed in his face after all that bragging about being a lazy bum in America.

Kidding. But not really. But really. Nah. Un hunh. Nope. But I am kidding. (Sorry - no one will get that reference to Eddie Izzard except maybe Les, if he's paying attention)

For the record, I am kidding.

Happy Halloween everybody!

Driving. Me? Insane!

That's right folks! This man is legal on the roads of the world! Nobody is safe! Mwah-ha-ha-haaa!

Not a great driver (yet) - 11 out of a possible 15 minors, mainly for 'not checking the intersections enough' and a couple for having my nose on the pedestrian crossing, and a couple more for vigorous cornering. Full points on my car knowledge though (the different terminology was confusing!). No freeway driving or parallel parks in my tests, what I was practicing the most. Been on a couple solo drives in my 'hood on roads I know. It's a groovy feeling not to be the outcast non-driver.

Work was hard, especially as I had 4 hours on the carts in a busy lot (I got extra cart hours for failing to be dressed up. I didn't bother pleading the truth about the awful, rip-off, piece of crap 'instant disguise' I'd bought. Einstein my butt. I knew the rubber mask of Nixon at $5 more expensive was the way forward. Damn it. Got a free hot dog and some free cans of Diet Coke at work. Not too shabby.

It's late, I'd better hit the hay. Might hit the celebratory Corona first though. It's to aid sleep. Really.

Whatever. I deserve this 'un.

High Ho, High Ho

Back to work for me. Pretty usual apart from a lesson in customer service, a new name badge (see above - I seem to have lost my "asdair" so as to not confuse customers), and spilling the last chicken noodle soup all over myself at the till, thus depriving some poor women of her chosen lunch. *Sigh*

At 31C is was another scorcher today to roast me as I collect the many, many carts the Californians won't return.

I hope all your lives are as colourful and interesting as mine!

PS I see I used brackets today. Drat. I lose.

Out of the Freezing Land and into the Fire

After my time in Britain - not an American experience per say, so not covered here - my stopover in DC was a good way to prepare for the heat of California. And it was a chance for me to do something better on the east coast than run through Newark International.

I experienced pumpkin picking (in the pouring rain), cider (no booze, but not apple juice, but really apple juice but thick and lightly spiced - I prefer the British definitions of drink, much simpler), American public transport (not bad, clean), serious pumpkin carving (My skills weren't up to the Barack O. Lanterns, I stuck with the traditional triangular cut-with-a-kitchen-knife-that-isn't-really-up-to-the-job features. I love the classics, baby!), Ethiopian food (any food eaten with fingers wrapped in carbs has got to be a winner), ballroom dancing (not really [sorry Kim], just wanted to see if you'd given up on the dense list format by now), decent American beer (I guess there had to be some, right? Ha ha!), margarita from a slushie machine (gotta get myself one of those), Becka's whip-round tour of DC (tailored for my preferences, naturally) and the caloriffic might of the Cinnabon chain (mmmmmmm....).

So, all in all, it was okay.

In all seriousness I had a great time, much needed - especially after the low in Scotland (not to say I didn't enjoy seeing y'all... you know what I mean) and a big, public thank you to Becka for that. Listening to my rubbish for two days takes some serious patience...

Got to get driving again, test Thursday. Work Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday. Straight back into the swing of things in the 33C heat. Thankfully it's supposed to get down to 20C high by the end of the week. So odd considering that most of you reading this are beginning to freeze...

After that session of condensing a lot of good stuff into a shorter, less interesting form I'm gonna go, but not before I set myself a little challenge. I use ellipses (you know...[such wit!]) and brackets far too much when I write (please ignore the rest of my poor grammar and/or spelling - this isn't a test!), it seems, so next blog post will contain neither (I hope...)

Peace out!

Words by Alasdair Dennis.

 Pictures by Becka and used with the permission of Dennis Enterprises.

Windy, and not 'cause of me...

Shortly before coming back to Scotland (where I am now) the Santa Ana winds swooped down upon SoCal. They are strong, low lying winds - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_ana_winds to learn more if you're really interested.

As far as I'm concerned it was just a couple of very blustery days that hastened a much needed change of season. The leaves were blown down, making it feel more like 'fall'. It also spread the fires in California like mad - I'm sure some of you have read about the fires on the news. I saw the masses of smoke lingering across the land and sea from the plane. It was really very impressive.

LAX was a zoo, flights were full (good - no wastage), no problems with the flights.

I'm happy to see Kim again. Really.

Not been posting

I haven't been posting much, but I figured everyone is getting bored of my day-to-day swimming/driving/shopping/working. I'll start posting just observations, but things are pretty busy just now so it'll just be when I have time. Or when I actually do something to interest people.

Some Pics

Yesterday was spent doing some moving and plenty of driving, including some longer trips on the freeway.

The photos I have posted are of the car I drive (though I have driven my godfather's Mazda CX-7 a couple of times), the house I stay in, the clear walls of OC (so as to not spoil the view), one of the big ol' spiders I mentioned, and a road name that made me chuckle. It was funny 'cause an attractive jogger was running under it when I first saw it, totally like one of those STI HEBS ads...

Oh my, another two days gone. They do seem to fly by like trucks and trains.

Yesterday (Thursday) I did a bit of driving, some cooking, swam, walked, and read. Not much to blog about, but I did take some photos which I will post tomorrow when I'm not so tired.

Today I shopped. Not my favorite pastime, but a necessity. Had some delightful sushi and tempura for lunch, and some tasty sweet and sour chicken for dinner. I drove to and fro a cinema, where we saw Appaloosa (a great film, very enjoyable). This trip involved a longer stint on the freeway - not so bad in the medium light traffic (and the dark made it easier to place cars in the blind spot).

I'm going to grab some sleep. I should really come up with something interesting to post on this ol' blog of mine!

Ralphs

It wasn't so bad. The scorcher of a day made the trolley (sorry, cart) collection sweaty business. And I have developed a healthy dislike of paper bags. I like the concept, but they're harder to pack and have less in them 'cause people expect to use the paper handles. Whatever happened to just carrying them without the easy-tear handles? The store bags people take in are a godsend - large, sturdy, and ecofriendly.

The day passed quite quickly and for that I am thankful. I didn't want my smile to turn into a grimace.

The first of october - where is the time going? I went to Laguna beach and to the gym for this housing area - Laguna was nice, typical CA beach but the gym was somewhat limited. I guess the Pleasance spoiled me!

Today I'm looking into a brief return to my wet 'n' wild homeland...

Last couple of days...

Been gettin' lazy with this blog. On Sunday there was a dinner party at the house so the day was spent doing things for that then enjoying the event itself. This house is amazing for entertaining!

Yesterday I did this and that, and the day disappeared too quickly. Had my first freeway experience (very short - on, then off at the next exit) and a fairly long night drive out of the urban environment and onto roads more akin to those in Scotland.

Today is my first day at Ralphs. I have donned the red polo, and am ready to serve!

The Capital of Capitalism

Saturday was spent training (8.5 hours - 8 hours training with two paid 10 minute breaks, half an hour unpaid lunch) to be a Courtesy Clerk at Ralphs, involving bag packing, sweeping, cart collection, and other lowly odd jobs about the mighty stores. The training had 4 principles that were drilled into our heads, almost like brain washing.

Our people are great!

Our prices are good.

You get the products you want, plus a little.

The shopping experience make you want to return.

We were told to watch how we say things and carefully guard our facial expressions when in work - I reckon George Orwell wrote 1984 after working in Ralphs for a while (and, yes, Ralphs was about when he was writing the novel). But whatever, it's instant work and not too taxing as long as I'm friendly, helpful, and informative all the time. We got about 200 pages of manauls just to make sure we don't forget...

Afterwards I tried America's no. 1 least healthy drink (a smaller size - the one mention previously was only the medium!). It was sickly sweet and so rich it stayed in my throat for a good while. I also tried the Starbucks coffee cake (delicious, but tricky to get the mouth around) and their green tea latte (sickly sweet, vibrant green foam. Just stick to the plain green tea. Seriously, these Americans must be on a constant sugar high). After driving on the wrong side of the road for a little bit, quickly corrected by my godfather (in my defense I was two lanes over to the right - would've been fine on a British motorway. These roads are huge!), I had thai food for dinner. Delicious again. I then drove to the cinema (two more slightly close brushes, but I won't talk about them. I blame the amount of sugar coursing through my poor body).

I have now seen 3 films in the states, all good. Traitor (slow burning terrorist thriller), Ghost Town (standard comedy fare, good turn by Gervais), and - last night - Eagle Eye (fast, furious, fairly easy to predict action fare).

Some quick thoughts on food in the States - lots of unhealthy things being thrust forward, food outlets everywhere, cheap, tasty. Much easier to pack on the pounds than in Britain, less of the health guilt, more of a culture of eating out all the time, shameless marketing, larger portions, larger fridges, and huge stores. In short, it tastes great but one has to really watch that they don't end up hoovering up the sugars and fat being shoved at them every day.

You Spin Me Right Round, Baby, Right Round...

I relaxed for most of the day, watching some TV shows on IMDB, keeping out of the way of the Polish cleaners (they're taking over the world with their diligence!). I then drove to Ralphs, found out that I passed the drug test (I got 62% - just joking people!) and got myself signed up for training tomorrow, was given a couple of trendy red polo shirts and a snazzy name badge (it's Kyle under the sticker, folks!).

I then went karting as part of a Mazda charity event for juvenile diabetes. I was last. Sigh. It was the extra weight, I tell you. I only spun out once. I thought I wasn't doing too bad! Oh well. I found solace in a dinner of Japanese curry (who knew?) followed by (after driving home) watermelon in front of the presidential debate. It was really a lesson in press bias. The debate itself was interesting, the press analysis was sickeningly bias - change channel, change 'winner' of the debate. Leave it to the viewers to decide!

Better get a good snooze before my venture into the working world of America tomorrow!

Another Day in the Sun

Not much to say today (job hunting, swimming - pretty plain) so I'll mention the spiders. The spiders that I've seen here (serious first, Al, serious first) are larger than their British counterparts in every way. They spin bigger webs (I swear they could catch unwary kids in those!), they are larger (and perch in the middle of those gigantic webs waiting for the kids), and the web is thick enough to feel like hair. It's really kinda gross, you think you have a hair on your hand but id won't blow off and it's all sticky and then realization (such an American z there) dawns...

Whatever. The sun has fried my body (and my brain apparently but you wouldn't notice much difference) so I might just get an early night so I'm fresh for the wonders of the 'morrow.

Riding El Toro

Gettin' behind on my posting here! Been unable to get my phone to talk to my mac so this post will be pictureless once again...

Yesterday I applied to a local supermarket and was called shortly after to go in to meet them and take a drug test. I assured them that I was only a casual crack abuser.

Other things I did that day, short version: Shopping, swimming, reading, and BBQing steaks. Nice, no?

And on to today...

Firstly, a very happy Birthday to both Becka, in the US of A, and Dot in sunny Glasgow. Older only on paper...

Now I doubt either of these lovely ladies has time for my blog shenanigans, but I like to believe that a general sense of well-being will be transferred from my lowly blog across the cosmos to them. It's the thought that counts, right?

Anyway, today saw me rising well before the dawn to go to the UPS plant 7 miles from the house for a meeting regarding employment. As good as the job looks, it seems I have to turn it down as it is too far away.

The trip home (by bike) was an enjoyable and leisurely trip set against the rising Californian sun. The cool morning mists and predawn light were a delight whilst being bitten on the forehead by some unseen (but hopefully smited) beastie was not such a pleasant feeling. Going at a speed that rivaled the cars alongside, the bike whizzed me down the canyon and onto the great El Toro road. A convenient Starbucks provided me with breakfast at dawn (Starbucks' Perfect Oatmeal with nut topping - not great, homemade is sooo much better) and a fix of my rapidly developing addiction to Pumpkin Spice Frappuccinos.

Working my way up El Toro brought me to a closed mall (opens at 10) which, as it turns out, contains a See's Candy shop - I'll be back there in the future, no doubt. Then up to a shoe shop (not open until 9, damn and blast!) which, after the wait until opening time, yeilded 2 nice pairs of shoes for about $100. Sweet, but still a lot of dough. Luckily the nearby Cold Stone Creamery was closed until noon else I would've been sorely tempted to try America's no. 1 least healthy drink - the 20oz Love It size OhFudge! Shake (containing a whopping 1,660 kcal). Just for research purposes, you understand...

A leisurely cycle (via Longs Drug Store - it's an american thing) brought me back home for lunch, driving (getting better! Only a few minor infringements this time...), swimming, looking at local jobs, and going to the cinema (in about 3 minutes).

Any suggestions for getting my phone to talk are appreciated (it's paired with my mac, but won't connect) as are suggestions for a topic on which to explore in this blog other than my day to day grind (hah!).

Pictures!

I spent the rest of yesterday walking a fair distance to get an american sim card and bank account, rowing on the lake (then wading in it in order to find the oar pin I dropped - yuk), getting some top-notch mexican food, and doing some driving. Only one exciting incident when driving - two people pulling into a left-turn lane at the same time which had me pulling out pretty quickly. Automatics make life so much easier and the roads in America are massive.

Oh, and you may have noticed I took some pictures for y'all when I was boating...

Easy Driver

Today a trip to the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) earned me the right to drive on Californian roads with an experienced driver in the cars. Watch out CA!

It required some ID, a picture, a thumbprint, a signature, and the completion of a 36 question, multiple choice test. Now, as most of you know, I have had only a cursory knowledge of the holy code of driving in Britain, and even less of the Californian driving code. I could probably take a decent shot at the theory test in Britain, who knows? What I am aware of is that after about 2 hours of reading the driving handbook (skipping roughly half of it) and some short but useful driving commentaries from my godfather, I scored 34 out of 36 (30/36 was the pass mark). One an admin. question - SR 1 forms, anyone? The other was an honest mistake - mobiles whilst driving are allowed for emergency calls. The test required some very basic knowledge and a bit of common sense. With 3 answers for each question, one obvious to rule out, I guess it could almost be done by luck. Now just to actually learn how to steer a car around the monstrous American Boulevards...

Blue Skies, Broken Planes...Next 12 Exits

Trust me to forget my camera on a perfect day for those pictures I keep on promising.

Up and out early today to get to Chino airfield, near enough to San Dimas for anybody who gets my post title. Had a hearty american breakfast (eggs, bacon, and pancakes) in an old-style diner by the airport. I was out there as my godfather had advised a Virgin pilot on buying a 'experimental aircraft' (read as home-made). The morning fogs burned off slowly under the relentless Californian sun to reveal a clear blue sky as far as the eye could see. Most of my time at the airport was spent observing the aging aviation buffs and the goings-on around the hangars.

I was lucky enough to get a brief spell up in the air in one of the planes which had been built by it's owner since 1980. It was a handsome 'pusher' plane (a 'pusher' has its propellor at the back rather than the front), quite a tight fit - these home builds are obviously not meant for the larger brand of man. Though short, it was exciting - a near collision shortly after take-off (explained later) and failing brakes shortly after landing (a bolt caught the brakes and jammed them on, making taxiing from the runway impossible - some manpower quickly had it out of harm's way). Whilst the brakes were being investigated - the problem was an odd occurrence caused by a recent addition to the plane - I was just by the runway watching landings, take-offs, a controlled crash, and a butterfly catcher. Seriously, I never thought I'd see a butterfly catcher, especially not by a runway. Takes all types.

The crash, if it could be called such, was the plane which had nearly (by aviation terms - I wasn't screaming in fear of imminent death) hit us on take-off. Its nose cone had collapsed and the landing gear couldn't some down (meaning the front wheel - the other two don't go up). The landing was a dramatic affair, emergency services waiting by the runway. The plane came down, killed its engine, then braked causing the propellor (on the front) to tip down and smash on the ground, skidding to a halt. The pilot escaped unhurt except that the bill for that sort of incident is 'about $35,000 dollars, easy' - that's a year's pay for all you probationary teachers.

The drive back through the mountains on the toll road was beautiful and barren. I whiled away the rest of the day with job searching and lake cruising. It's a hard life. Back to my strawberry margarita...

The Lone Pedestrian

Today I tried to get to know the area a bit, but I guess most people do that by car here. I walked for an hour and a quarter and passed one person on foot, a jogger. I believe I saw a couple I could class as pedestrians, but they were in the distance and turned into a housing estate before I could get a good idea of the walk they had taken. I guess I was in a quiet area and it was a saturday, but the lack of foot traffic seemed sad. It certainly made the walk lonelier. Such nice pavements (probably thanks to the lack of walker), such lovely weather (I guess it gets pretty old after a while in California - at 26°C they say there's a touch of autumn in the air) goes unappreciated by people whizzing past in shiny cars, some disgustingly huge. Ach well, more pavement for me.

On my venture I had a doughnut. I have, in the past, complained about shrinking fudge doughnuts and their growing price which, if challenged, could always be claimed to be part of the bakery's health promoting scheme. I stand by the price complaint, but understand the reasons for it, but retract my complaints about size. A filled doughnut should be small, it's a heavy, rich, sweet, sticky treat. The one I bought today was all those things, at least double the size of any self respecting modern British doughnut, and $1. Plus the lovely lady behind the till threw in a few free sugar and cinnamon coated doughnut holes. A buck. 55 pence. Crazy. After such a steal I felt things needed to even out, so I headed for the nearest Starbucks. Fourbucks, as I have heard it is called by the wit stricken Americans, promptly relieved me of the change of my $5 note I had used in the doughnut shop (open 4am-1pm, clearly doughnuts are a morning thing). The 'tall' size was, thankfully, the same size as I am accustomed to in Britain. It was a Pumpkin Spice Coffee Frappuccino. They really need to get into pumpkin in the UK. Or just Scotland, I don't mind. It was like pumpkin pie, Starbucks style, and a much needed cooler during my walk in the dry heat.

My trip to the nearest supermarket (a short one, just to lessen the shock and depression) saw me buying a handful of necessities which turned out to be exactly the same brand and packaging as my equivalent goods back home. Unusual, but a growing trend, no doubt. Why bother to redesign packaging in every country? I know the consumers change but what people look for in a razor never changes and I'm sure people all round the world can be fooled by the same shiny packaging.

A drive around local industrial parks for job inspiration and a relaxing cruise on the lake behind the house rounded off my afternoon. I'll take some photos soon now that I have batteries - I know you readers don't want text heavy posts like this, just pretty, captioned pictures. As such, I'll just shut up and go sort my camera...

California here I come, right back where I started from...

What to say, what to say?

Out the flat at 5.30am, kindly accompanied by Les to the Airlink bus, into Edinburgh Turnhouse, checked in immediately (bag weighs in at 21kg, thank goodness) - the kind lady at the desk even changed my seats on both flights to exit row seats, seeing as I was the type of gentleman who most benefitted from the extra leg room. No issue in security, bothered Daryl for some free coffee then made my final calls and texts to say goodbye before everyone ran off to work. After this, Daryl was too busy to chat so I went to look for some breakfast...

It's probably just me being picky, but the breakfasts offered in the airport are not ideal. All expensive, and not much basic, simple food. I just wanted a cheap bacon roll that I could take away. The closest I found was the Costa bacon sandwiches which were pushing £4. I think Daryl knew where such elusive grub could be found but, as mentioned earlier, he was a bit busy satisfying the hordes of caffeine addicted jet-setters.

Plane was on time. My seat was just at the entrance into the plane - miles of leg room but no table apart from the silly ones in the armrest, and the queue for the toilet often had to be asked to avoid standing in front of the tiny TV screen. I watched both of the in-flight films (Kung-Fu Panda and Doc Hollywood) and read the entirety of Hollywood by Charles Bukowski. The two in-flight meals (or meal and snack as they called it - a pretty substantial snack) were standard plane food, I've nothing much to say about them.

Bang on time into Newark. I was pretty anxious that the stopover would be tight but everything went like a dream (probably 'cause of my lovely blue passport) and, due to the delay of the flight to LAX, I even had and hour to while away before boarding.

Another standard flight in all respects except I had the better type of exit row and one of those new-fangled touch screen back-of-headrest TVs with games, TV shows, music, and a wide range of films. I only had time for two films - The Forbidden Kingdom and The Son of Ranbow - and an episode of Two and a Half Men.

Sick of the detail already? Have no fear! After all the time awake my standard of observation was slipping rapidly away so observations on the cultural differences will be saved for a better day. A 2 hour car journey took me to Casa de Godparents, a lovely lakeside home. We finished the day by eating out at a lovely little Thai place. Delicious. I then retired early to rest up for today and all the wonders that it might bring...